Months of silence and noise

back with the raskt tog team.
back with the raskt tog team.

"Funkstille" as we say in german, which means kind of absolute silence. That's what happened to this webpage. I'm sorry for a that long break. There was silence and a lot of noise the same time.

 

I don't want to write about Corona, we all know what it means and seriously, we're hearing this word more than enough. And it's not the reason for the silence. 

As written on my social media accounts, the last few months haven't been so easy-going, struggling with psychic issues including some stays at the psychiatric clinic. I wasn't training seriously, dealing with all the mental problems, fighting the noise in my head and not being a professional athlete at all. All the way long I was having a wonderful und supportive surrounding thanks to which I managed to keep going. Lot of thinking was about the question if I can and should go on with elite sports, lots of doubts and talks did pass. I couldn't give the answer but then, some weeks ago my body gave it to me. With no obvious reason I suddenly could start real training again, I felt energy in my legs and motivation in my mind. I cannot explain what did happen. There was nothing changing in my psychic situation, I'm still having lots of mental breakdowns und fighting against my own mind, but from one day to the other sport was again kind of medication to me. So since 3 weeks my life looks again a bit more like the daily business of an athlete and I'm surpised about my shape and the paces I'm able to run. And for the first time during all the Coronoatime I feel a bit sorry that all competitions are cancelled. But it also means: more time for training, for getting still faster, working on the specific orienteering skills and not only acting like an athlete but also feeling it again and having the attitude of it!